ambition

2008 resolution: to increase pizzle size by 20 percent per month, until by next December, pizzle will be longer than couch. Until then, I'm in chew training.

schooling mr. jasper

Minion's houseguest for the last few days has been this character, Jasper, who is an affable enough fellow, although I found that he prefers Dickens over Dreiser, which I always feel is a mistake. Also, he drinks Trader Joe merlot, and is far too friendly to other dogs, who must be crushed through either feigned ambivalence or outright disgust. For these reasons, I have chosen to break his spirit. You're welcome, Jasper.

enlightenment

all action

variations on a theme

In keeping with the second-time-around high school vibe, here are Minion's new senior yearbook photos. She claims they were for some professional something, and that one might run in a magazine or blah blah blah, she usually loses me on the second sentence. Anyway, I particularly enjoy the one in black and white, in which Minion's lack of an upper lip makes her look like a vampire. Perhaps this would be a good yearbook shot for Sunnydale High School?