Is it so wrong to use my adorability to control the minions and sycophants that I encounter? I suppose I should have some type of humility, I think sometimes, a kind of check and balance to my power that's in line with a Schoolhouse Rock lesson about governmental branches. But then I realize that Schoolhouse Rock was likely written by a bunch of TV interns who ate Ding Dongs for lunch and smoked pot all night as they rummaged through the couch cushions for enough change to buy pizza. I mean, these are the people who turned a legislative bill into a depressive, whiny Eeyore who had all the self-esteem of a flat-chested "Girls Gone Wild" participant. They're the ones who used phrases like, "Right On!" as uttered by Susan B. Anthony. Granted, Minion is currently teaching a citizenship class in which she draws heavily from the jingles of her youth, and is investigating ways to incorporate "Lady Godiva was a freedom ridah" into a discussion of the executive branch, but that's no reason I should lessen my formidable power by either check or balance. Fear me, minions!
