alien abduction?

After waking up in Minion's car -- sleeping being no small feat with her leadfoot driving -- I found myself in a sterile room, with two lovely yet syringe-carrying women advancing. So this is the "Fire in the Sky" I've been hearing about, the smattering of alien poking and prodding to determine our intelligence, the burden of terra firma dwellers who are snatched up into the heavens. After being given shots of who-knows-what, including a green substance (quelle cliche), my blood was drawn, presumably to join others in a database that will determine the fate of man and beast alike. They claimed it was for a heartworm test, foolish aliens. Don't they realize by now that even if we acquiesce to their examinations, we certainly don't believe their lies? Viva la resistance!